CONFLICT AT WORK

We join together as a team for work, but end up in conflict. What can be the reason? It is because we are human beings, and being a human, we are prone to sensitivity. Many colleagues come from different backgrounds, with different culture, thinking, ideology, egos, perception etc. and to this can be added the environmental upbringing of respective person. All this goes on to build a rock solid bottom.  So even while working together, each one think he is right. From here, springs the conflict. The job of the superior is to convert, this conflict into conciliation, and channelize the same towards organization goal and objective.

The first step is to understand from which platform you are coming from, and then position yourself, so that the situation do not flare up. Secondly, learn to communicate, for that is the way out. Try to focus instead of who is right, to what is right. Be friendly, fair, frank, firm, and flexible. Follow this not only in office, but wherever you interact with different people in all relationship. “One day I too got into a brawl, with a old colleague of the office, out of no reason. The guy picked up a ‘word’ out of my conversation with my senior a few days back, and continued to hatch it, into monster. He interpreted the word in his own way and out of context. The very word which was used in praise of their entity and presence was taken as humiliation. What was more intriguing, he vomited the ire in early morning office hours, during exchange of pleasantries. I was shocked on seeing the posture, and tried to treat his humiliation with humility.” So narrated Vijay, about a situation, he came across one day in his department.

Such incidents are not rare in office politics. Sometime they are out of ego, sometimes deliberately to pull down a colleague, sometime to reflect upon superiority over the other, sometime due to mood swings, sometime due to lobby affiliations and sometime out of nothing i.e. just due to the very nature of the guy, temperament, health problems, family disturbance, etc etc . Peace and conciliation can be brought by the listener’s reaction, because a reaction can best be dealt with a response. Here the responding person becomes a witness to the situation rather a part of it, thereby becoming a medium   to defuse the conflict, instead of exaggerating that.

Vijay told, “that the guy became so furious that he lost his temper, and commanded me (his senior in position), to go away from his seat, and need not come in that section (where he was located), even after my pleading sorry for any misunderstanding, if created from my part, but this guy was so flared up, to go on to direct me, and to go out of his sight”. Vijay learnt a lesson that when you communicate, you should be aware that people’s hearing depends on what they are listening to. One cannot have a say over their interpretation of someone else. So leave it to him, and move on. One has to take a stand, but one should not remain standing at one place. Enjoy the joy of being simple.

Let us view the conflict of views through an example; workers were busy at a construction site of temple, a passerby asked one, “ what for you are busy”, he said can’t he see for himself, “we are busy in constructing a building.” he then asked another what for he is engaged, that guy said, ‘ he is engaged for livelihood, to feed his family’, the passerby then asked a third one, who said “ I am graceful to god, that HE has allowed me to contribute for a noble cause, sir, I am busy in building an abode for the god himself, I am so thankful to myself.” It  is the viewpoint that makes one different

Be simple, simplify life and then one can see life is a space to grow and not merely age. One becomes a victim of habits and negative attitude. Then one day it takes over. That grudging guy remains there and the uplifted one moves on. Just move on to relaxation and lightness. Turn the conflict into coordination.

Remember hate begets hatred. Love beholds love. If you extend a hand to ‘shake hand’ the other disgruntled one may take it as if you are going to slap, and by mistake you extended both hands to embarrass, the other may consider it, as if you are going to push him down. It is the way you look at the things. Be positive, all conflicts will resolve, of their own.