FORGIVE

“THE WALL IS CLEAN”

An old age person allowed a family to stay in one of his vacant floors, out of compassion. This group of people started behaving as family members to the old man. On his demise their true colours came to fore, and became nightmare for the old man’s own family. The once in need family even refused to recognize the children of the old man as the natural inheritor of his estate, and assumed the occupancy as the ownership title. It led to frictions and in due course both became warring groups. Each would call for the police assistance at the drop of hat. Indifferences made room for hatred; hatred resulted in animosity and animosity one day led the occupant to indulge in some unsavory act.

Years went by and the elder son of the old man got adapted to tolerance and accepted the will of god. One day the elder son, out of his nature and true to Indian tradition offered one of the portions of the house for the guest of his neighbor, so as to let them celebrate the marriage festivities joyfully.  It soon turned into a horrifying experience once more, for the elder son and his family. As festivities were in progress the recalcitrant occupant painted some walls with abusive slangs. The festive atmosphere turned in different direction and ended with flare up arguments. The guests packed up and cut short their stay and moved out. Looking into intensity of the problem the perpetrator family erased the slangs, but not without leaving the scratching marks on the walls.

The son took the incident as a moral responsibility and went into depression and anxiety syndrome. An unexpected turn of events and insult on the face, left him with an agitate mind. Police was once again approached to take stock of the situation and book the perpetrators for obscenity. But they too opined that there was nothing so serious that calls for any action or to investigate the matter. 

The son took snaps of the slanging portion of the wall, and decided to take up the matter with ‘Human Rights’ and top brass of the police. In the process he could not sleep properly for two nights. The    sequence of events reverberated before him as a horrifying movie. On the third day as he returned home, he found the whole of the wall stands freshly painted in pink colour, the colour of love and harmony. The fresh look at the wall changed the very being of his. His body got harmonized within, as if ready to receive the divine. Absolute calmness prevailed around him. Soon he forgot of taking any action against the culprit family. The wall was clean and so was his heart.         

        

What brought the turnaround was a thoughtful action by the wife of the old man’s son. What a collective sense of a civilized society could not do, a ‘clean up wall’ did the trick. The moral of the story is go on cleaning the malice, the hatred, the ill will, and make a bigger room for love and compassion. There goes a Vedic prayer which says: “May all beings be happy. May all be healthy. May people have the well being of all in mind. May no body suffer in any way.”

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BE A WITNESS TO SOUL

“BE A WITNESS TO SOUL” 

No one can say what happens, when he dies. The person we have known as ‘I’ is no more there. And by any stretch of imagination cannot come back to reveal his last moments or of just thereafter. But why not to become a witness to the very soul, that is keeping us moving in this very life itself? Each person’s life is a message for the world. It is the way one look at. Make each soul journey an inspiring one. The ‘I’ has to be a witness in the process. And when ‘I’ is to be a corroborative witness it has be necessarily devoid of ego and other vices like anger, hatred, jealousy, selfishness, mindfulness of authority and power, and a feeling that only I am right, and likewise. It is then it becomes a companion of soul. 

The witness gets elevated to high pedestal. And whenever ‘I’ gets separated it leaves foot prints for others to follow. Anyway it is the way one conducts himself during his lifetime that determines his legacy. The ‘Geeta’ also says do whatever is righteous so that you may be remembered and followed by others. So is also written in all the Holy Scriptures. Be good to your conscience, do good, feel good, look good and all will be good all around. But bad for a bad man is good and what is good for a bad man is bad for a good man. Good and bad are relative terms. Nothing is permanent in a lifetime. Everything keeps on changing. What remains permanent is the 'SOUL'. It keeps on changing the ‘I’ apron.

An enlightened and elevated witness to soul never questions what happens after death. We are all here to play a part; play it like a soul. Witness everything around as soul mates. Life becomes so blissful and divine like. Fear of death and what will happen after me never envelops. This ideology also enables one to bear the hardships, sufferings and the challenges of life joyfully. One may say Abraham Lincoln was shot dead, so was Mahatma Gandhi, and what happened with other freedom fighters in this country and elsewhere. Does it give us a fright or flight to do good for others? Mandela, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King and many of them like were all elevated souls, because they transformed the ‘I’ of them into a witness and observer in their journey. The hard reality is that they are still living, long after the ‘I’ of them vanished. They left their indelible soul deeds. All body deeds got dissolved, but soul deeds become immortal. When a soul talks to another soul, there is no apartheid, no question of caste, colour, or religion.

Let the soul represent your body and not the other way round. We have given a name to everything but have we ever tried to identify the soul. Once we do that at any stage, we become enlightened. It came to Vibhishana; to Valmiki; to Tulsidas; to Sidartha and to many more, even now a day as well. We find a few them each year around Republic Day celebrations, when President of India felicitate young and brave hearts. Knowing about their bravery, who can deny that any of them, was at any point time got scared of death. What inspired them was simply a soul effort. 

Has anyone seen death of ‘I’ at close quarters?  It is believed that when one comes across the cruel part of ‘I’ encounter, it is only then one visualizes the source of ‘I’, ‘the soul’, for the first time.  I experienced it as my mother lay in coma for a year around, and we celebrated her death; I  came across a good friend who back stabbed me, and I forgave him; I have been to jail because a colleague thought I may be a threat to him, and I started loving him more; in jail I came across a prisoner whose death sentence was commuted, and he transformed himself to a divine soul; ever eager to help any prisoner/under trial; he will plant a flowery plant wherever he find suitable soil, he will ensure that a fruit bearing tree never goes out of the reach of prisoners, so that any one may pluck a fruit effortlessly; he was remind-full too all the time that he will never be freed from the four walls, and will remain in prison till natural death. He used to say, "I am living a life after death, there is nothing to be worried about, so why not live joyfully for others".

I am thankful to few people who gave me an opportunity to witness and experience a wholesome living, so what is there to be concerned about after death. Ignorant are those who do not live wholly, wholesomely and for others. Befriend a soul, who recognizes souls, and we all be for eternity... 

Thanks my dear souls, we never die.

(With inputs from life experiences of others and self, where ‘I’ is only the co-passenger, a witness or observer)

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WHO IS HE

WHO IS THIS MAN?

(In the earlier series the readers were given an anecdote as to how it makes a difference when one drop the garb of pride as to ‘I’, ‘ME’ and ‘MINE’ factor. The moment it is dropped one becomes a divine self. It is so described in ‘Geeta’ by none other than the ‘Lord’ himself. It was also so beautifully presented in celluloid form in a movie called “Guide”, where the hero of the film realizes at the end of the movie that ‘selffulness’ was the only reason of all of his worries and sorrows. The writer here presents one another instance as to how it makes a difference to life, when one learn the difference between chasing a goal and selecting a right path to travel for humanity. It is in this hope presented for the young readers)   

He was participating in his dream Olympic game of Seoul 1988 at the age of 32, representing Canada, and competing for single-seated Finn dinghy sailor race. Coincidently his fellow countrymen Ben Jonson was also taking part in athletic events. The sailor rightly deserved an Olympic berth for his country,      because of his astute sailing skills, and was confident to return with a medal. But the ‘moments of truth’ had something different in store. 

He is ‘Lawrence Lemieux’, who remains in rainbow till this day even after 25 years of that fateful day. When he started his race in the hope of a medal nobody could imagine he will become a humanity   hero.

What Lemieux did on 24^th September 1988 afternoon, no one else but God in action could have only performed. Lemieux was far ahead in the turbulent sea amongst all the participants at that time, and could have easily reached for the silver or gold medal position. But a turning moment changed the whole course. Without wasting a second he made a u-turn to proceed to save a competitor couple in trouble who almost gave up any chance to survive.  Lemieux not only picked up the drowning one first and helped the second one to get resuscitated and waited till the Korean Navy Rescue Team took the participants away.  He then resumed his race to finish 22^nd in the event.

Lemieux was awarded the highest Olympian ‘Sportsman Ship’ medal more than the worth of winning a gold medal. The IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch, in his citation said “By  your sportsmanship, self- sacrifice, and courage you embody all that is right with the Olympic ideal”. Later he became the most sought after ‘sailing coach’ for the aspirants and countries. He was honored by many countries thereafter. He retired from all the activities of his sport at the age of 57 in 2012. He was fittingly included in the ‘Alberto Hall of Fame’ in September 2012, and got enshrined as living legend though without winning a medal, in his dream Olympic of 1988.

Lawrence Lemieux grew up sailing on the lakes of western Canada. So adept was he that, throughout his teens and twenties, Lemieux won many competitions throughout North America. He began racing solo in the 1970’s and found that it relies on the individual tactics and strategy. “It is you and the boat. You are in control of your destiny; you can develop a technique that works for you. It is all you” he says. In the first world champion ship he finished eighth. But he also believed that they were not the best sailors in the world. “We were a new breed then in the late seventies and early eighties. There was a group of us, I was the only guy from Canada, and may be four or five Americans. We sailed full time and that’s all we did. We lived in vans, we ate in camp grounds, we had no money- but we excelled. We took the sport to a new level.” Skilled and self assured, the 32 year old Lemieux easily earned a place on his sailing team of the country for the summer Olympic  games to be held in South Korea . 

Born on Nov. 12, 1955, in Edmonton, Alberto, who competed in the 1984 summer Olympic in star class and at the 1988 summer Olympic in the Finn class. He became famous for his feat, in the later competition, which resulted in him being awarded the ‘Pierre de Coubertin Medal’.

September 24, 1988; history was about to be written for an Olympic medalist aspirant sailor:

Lawrence Lemieux was waiting for his turn to go for his lap that may decide his position on winner’s podium. The waters of Pusan, 450 kilo meters away from the coast, were calm, the wind blowing at 10 to 15 knots- nearly ideal sailing conditions. The first four races went smoothly, with Jose Luis Doreste of Spain  and Peter Holmerg of the Virgin Islands earned comfortable leads. When Lemieux turn came, with the fifth lap, the winds picked up to a dangerous 35 knots.

Battling the winds, this man forged ahead, clocking a time that would have qualified him for a silver medal overall, but in his mind he was sure to go for gold at that moment. When all of a sudden he abandoned the race, and changed his direction to a capsizing boat that had been competing for Singapore in different category. The boat’s injured crew members, Shaw Her Siew and Joseph Chan, were in the turbulent oceanic water, Chan having been thrown nearly 20 meters from his craft and Siew clinging to the overturned boat. What then this man did, became folklore in Olympic.

He reminisces the day till this day,even after 25 years very clearly. Once in an interview he narrated the fleeting moments as if it happened yesterday. The race was for a competition to win but it turned out to be a race of a lifetime. Eventually humanity won the race. It is way you look at the events at a particular moment. And that’s make all the difference. The moments of truth in his own words:

“I was sailing for Canada in a one-man Finn dinghy, which was sharing its course with two other races; the men’s and women’s 470 two person boats. The conditions were unexpectedly challenging, with strong winds and currents causing exceptionally steep waves. I was winning my race, much ahead of my category of competitors, until I dropped to second place, as I missed a marker- the fluorescent buoys that signaled the course were eight feet high, but the waves were so large that I simply didn’t get them. I had raced in that much wind, but the steepness of the waves, was altogether of a different proportion. I could have managed to overcome all, because for almost 18 years I was living with many of them like.”

”A number of other competitors were also running in difficulty in the heavy seas, including those two Singaporeans. I spotted their upturned dinghy- one had made it onto the hull but the other was drifting helplessly. The distance between him and his boat was quite a way and the boat was drifting faster than he could swim. And if could not see those big orange markers, who is going to see a little head bobbing in the water? He would have been lost at sea. I had to make a decision and once I recalled the dynamics of the problem there was no other question.”

“I sailed by and used the momentum to flip him up into the boat. In a single-handed boat there is no room for a second person so I headed back towards the upturned Singaporean boat. This one had cut his hand, he was bleeding all over, and they lost their rudder as well, so they could right the boat. My hopes of the medal vanished as soon as I changed the course to head to the rescue help; I eventually finished 22^nd place.”

 “The first rule of sailing is, if you see someone in trouble, you need to go for help, except that, this was different.” He recalls,  ‘That wasn’t just  another sailing trip in the rough waters, I was competing in the 1988 Seoul Olympic, and my dream was about take shape, I had built up enough lead to have time to manage the situation, a medal was most likely in sight.”

“You just do it.”  Life is more important than a medal hunt, it struck to him, just go for help. “My thought process was; do they really need help because a lot of times you are able to save yourself. But I couldn’t understand  if they were saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’ I just had to go. If I went to them and they didn’t really need help, it would have shattered my dream of two decades. If I didn’t go, it would be something you would regret for rest of your life.”

“I could have won gold. But under the circumstances, what I did, I would do again.” Lemieux says with pride; who while never making it to Olympics again, collected silver medal at the 1990 World Champion ship, and won all seven races in 1991 to win gold at the Pan-American Games. But more than that won the hearts of millions of people around the world, making them proud of being living-being in his times. Heads of states of many countries invited him to bestow ‘honour’ and to feel honoured by standing beside him. Lawrence Lemieux is the true role model and hero of sportsmanship.

God give opportunities to serve, to those who have genuinely big hearts. Let us develop a big heart with love and compassion.

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This is adapted version of my series on “IT IS THE WAY YOU LOOK AT“ in a book form (manuscript stage). ONI feel privileged that the introductory section to the book “WHO ARE YOU?” was considered for readership in “the Speaking Tree”. I hope this one will also be interest to all. I also work for “Punjab National Bank”. Age 59+. In the course of my occupational journey I have tried to serve a lot of people but in the process I rather learned more from them, briefly to say ‘a true meaning of life’.

Submitted for your kind consideration. ‘THE TIMES OF INDIA’ a habit formed for almost 50 years.

Note : I have mentioned the name of Ben Jonson only once and opted to just name him once only. It is because though Ben went on to win an Olympic medal in the same Olympic, but he was later stripped of the medal for using steroids. Ben Jonson also represented the same country like Lawrence Lemieux. It is coincidence that one returned with honour without winning a medal, and fellow countrymen in disgrace even after winning an Olympic medal       

CONFLICT AT WORK

We join together as a team for work, but end up in conflict. What can be the reason? It is because we are human beings, and being a human, we are prone to sensitivity. Many colleagues come from different backgrounds, with different culture, thinking, ideology, egos, perception etc. and to this can be added the environmental upbringing of respective person. All this goes on to build a rock solid bottom.  So even while working together, each one think he is right. From here, springs the conflict. The job of the superior is to convert, this conflict into conciliation, and channelize the same towards organization goal and objective.

The first step is to understand from which platform you are coming from, and then position yourself, so that the situation do not flare up. Secondly, learn to communicate, for that is the way out. Try to focus instead of who is right, to what is right. Be friendly, fair, frank, firm, and flexible. Follow this not only in office, but wherever you interact with different people in all relationship. “One day I too got into a brawl, with a old colleague of the office, out of no reason. The guy picked up a ‘word’ out of my conversation with my senior a few days back, and continued to hatch it, into monster. He interpreted the word in his own way and out of context. The very word which was used in praise of their entity and presence was taken as humiliation. What was more intriguing, he vomited the ire in early morning office hours, during exchange of pleasantries. I was shocked on seeing the posture, and tried to treat his humiliation with humility.” So narrated Vijay, about a situation, he came across one day in his department.

Such incidents are not rare in office politics. Sometime they are out of ego, sometimes deliberately to pull down a colleague, sometime to reflect upon superiority over the other, sometime due to mood swings, sometime due to lobby affiliations and sometime out of nothing i.e. just due to the very nature of the guy, temperament, health problems, family disturbance, etc etc . Peace and conciliation can be brought by the listener’s reaction, because a reaction can best be dealt with a response. Here the responding person becomes a witness to the situation rather a part of it, thereby becoming a medium   to defuse the conflict, instead of exaggerating that.

Vijay told, “that the guy became so furious that he lost his temper, and commanded me (his senior in position), to go away from his seat, and need not come in that section (where he was located), even after my pleading sorry for any misunderstanding, if created from my part, but this guy was so flared up, to go on to direct me, and to go out of his sight”. Vijay learnt a lesson that when you communicate, you should be aware that people’s hearing depends on what they are listening to. One cannot have a say over their interpretation of someone else. So leave it to him, and move on. One has to take a stand, but one should not remain standing at one place. Enjoy the joy of being simple.

Let us view the conflict of views through an example; workers were busy at a construction site of temple, a passerby asked one, “ what for you are busy”, he said can’t he see for himself, “we are busy in constructing a building.” he then asked another what for he is engaged, that guy said, ‘ he is engaged for livelihood, to feed his family’, the passerby then asked a third one, who said “ I am graceful to god, that HE has allowed me to contribute for a noble cause, sir, I am busy in building an abode for the god himself, I am so thankful to myself.” It  is the viewpoint that makes one different

Be simple, simplify life and then one can see life is a space to grow and not merely age. One becomes a victim of habits and negative attitude. Then one day it takes over. That grudging guy remains there and the uplifted one moves on. Just move on to relaxation and lightness. Turn the conflict into coordination.

Remember hate begets hatred. Love beholds love. If you extend a hand to ‘shake hand’ the other disgruntled one may take it as if you are going to slap, and by mistake you extended both hands to embarrass, the other may consider it, as if you are going to push him down. It is the way you look at the things. Be positive, all conflicts will resolve, of their own.